Saving Steve
by Celeste6
Summary: Steve knew heartbreak, but this one was different. When your world gets turned upside down, it's who you count on to save you that matters.


_Another missing scene! Just a one-shot this time. In 5.8, Steve tells Aunt Deb about Catherine's call. He says it almost matter-of-fact, like he's had time to process the shock of it. But - especially after the events in 5.7 - he would have reacted more strongly to the actual call. So, this is Steve processing and Danny worrying. Because, you know, Danny worries. _

**Saving Steve**

"Where's McGarrett?" Danny's raised voice carried through the office as he pushed his way through the glass doors opening into the main Five-0 space. "He's not answering his phone again."

Chin looked up at the Jersey native. A couple of weeks ago they might have wondered, but they wouldn't have thought too much of Steve not answering his phone immediately. Now... "I haven't heard from him this morning. Kono?"

"No, sorry." She looked from one man to the other. "When do we start worrying?"

"Five minutes ago," Danny said, voice low and flat. "I had a meeting with Grace's teacher at school this morning, and then was supposed to meet him after to talk to an informant, but he didn't show."

"Any chance he's with Grover?"

Kono shook her head. "Lou's in court this morning for the Gaither case."

"Have you been by his place?" Chin asked.

"That was my next stop if I didn't find him here."

Kono stepped over to the smart table and flicked her fingers across the surface. "I'm pulling up his truck's GPS locator."

Danny joined her at the table, arms crossed, bouncing impatiently. Chin stood on the other side of the table. Kono tapped something else, then nodded. "Got it." She looked up. "His truck is at his house. And his phone is there, too."

"Okay, I'm headed over there."

"You want backup?" Chin asked.

Danny thought about it. He was worried, but he didn't have that shivery worm of disquiet that settled in his gut when something was just _wrong_. "We could just be over-reacting."

Chin raised an eyebrow. "We have reason to."

"We do. But last time I checked up on him when he didn't answer his phone, I got yelled at for a full ten minutes."

"I got yelled at and got a bonus lecture on stealth tactics," Kono said.

Danny and Kono both looked at Chin. He sighed. "I got a glare and disappointed sigh."

"He's always liked you best," Danny said. He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Okay. Let me go over first, in case it's nothing. I'll text you when I get there. If you don't hear from me in ten minutes after that, you'll know something's wrong."

H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50H50

Steve's truck was in the drive, and there were no signs of a forced entry at the front of the house. Danny got out of the car, carefully looking around. He texted Chin and Kono: _Truck is here, nothing looks out of place. Going in._

Danny tested Steve's front door; the door was unlocked, so Danny drew his weapon and slowly pushed open the door with one hand. He carefully stepped inside, peering around the door, gun held steady out in front of him.

"Steve?" he called, walking through the living room, and then moving into the kitchen. No signs of a struggle, nothing out of place. Steve's badge and gun sat on the kitchen counter, next to his truck keys. His phone was on the dining table, next to a cup of cold coffee.

Danny cleared the rest of the house, then walked down to the beach. A towel was draped over one of the wooden chairs, still slightly damp, which probably meant Steve had been there, leaving the towel after his daily early morning swim.

"Where the hell are you, Steve?" Danny muttered to himself.

He turned and headed back to the house to check Steve's phone and see if he could find any other clues, when he caught a flash of faded blue out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and to the right - and there was Steve, sitting on the deck above the lanai, tucked into the corner with his back against one corner of the railing and his left arm against the other side, knees drawn up loosely. Danny had completely missed his partner sitting there; no wonder, since Steve was totally motionless.

Danny didn't see anyone else there with him, and there was no sign that he was there in that position against his will.

"What the…" Danny watched him for a moment. When Steve still didn't move, Danny continued walking back to the house. He raised a hand and started to yell at his partner, but then dropped his hand and stopped. Steve hadn't noticed him, or hadn't given any sign that he had noticed.

Danny moved a few steps closer and studied the scene. Steve was staring out in the direction of the water. His shoulders rose and fell slightly, so he was breathing. He didn't seem to have any external injuries and Danny couldn't see any blood.

There was something that Danny couldn't quite put his finger on, something familiar in the way Steve sat there and looked out over the water. Danny took another step, and then it hit him. Different overlook, same posture. Danny had the stone wall at the little pulloff on the highway; Steve had this secure corner at his house.

Danny was sure now that something had happened, but that it was personal, not Five-0 connected. But his partner's safety was still in question, so he didn't let his guard down as he made his way upstairs.

He cautiously approached the other man, speaking softly. "Interesting place to hang out, babe. Personally, I would have chosen the chair by the water for a good bout of silent ocean-forward contemplation." He saw Steve's eyes flicker towards him and back out to the water. Danny relaxed slightly. If something was wrong - in a 'there are invisible intruders in my home who have ordered me to sit here or everybody dies' way - that flicker would have been something more.

He holstered his gun, pulled out his cell phone and dialed Chin, who answered immediately. "He's here." Danny sighed. "Yeah, well, I think fine is an overstatement, but he's not hurt. I'll check in again in half an hour or so." He was moving as he ended the call, and slid down the railing to sit next to Steve, a bit of space between them.

He felt Steve shift almost imperceptibly toward him, so he leaned toward his friend and gently shoulder bumped him. "You want to talk about it?"

Steve leaned his head back, closed his eyes. "No."

"Okay." Danny leaned his head back, and let his body relax. He stretched his legs out and crossed one ankle over the other. There were worse places he could be right now than sitting in the late morning sun that was, for once, not unbearably hot. He'd be here anyway, for Steve, but it as long as he was here, no harm in being comfortable.

The two men sat side by side, eyes closed, not speaking. After about half an hour, Danny quietly pulled his phone out and sent a text to Chin: _All clear. Not sure when I'll be back to office. Steve taking day off. Call if emergency._ Kono would want to be there; Chin would understand from his message that Steve needed some space right then.

Another half hour passed before Steve, eyes still closed, said flatly, "Catherine called. She isn't coming home."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "Did she find Najib?"

"Yeah. But there are other boys and other kids and other people that need her. Apparently." Steve didn't try to hide the bitterness in his voice. "She says she feels like that is home now, like she's found her place. She's happy."

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming."

"Yeah. She's teaching the kids and advising the village leaders on how to keep other kids from being kidnapped and creating supply lines for books and other things." Steve laughed humorlessly. "She's trying to save the whole damn village by herself."

"Well," Danny tilted his head to one side and squinted, "it's not all that surprising. People that spend time with you seem to have a propensity to think they can do the impossible, and somehow, usually, they're right."

"So this is my fault?"

"No." Danny sighed. "Yes. I'm just saying, look at the batshit crazy things the rest of us do following your lead. Which, despite my best efforts, seems to be our normal way to do things now, whether you're around or not. And Catherine has known you longer than any of us. You wouldn't have been with her if she didn't have qualities you admire. And you sure as hell wouldn't have made her Five-0 if she didn't have the same drive to save people, make things better, and a tolerance for doing whatever it takes." He nudged Steve gently with his shoulder. "Face it, partner, you bring out the worst in people."

Steve finally looked at him. Danny raised his eyebrows, happy he'd gotten a reaction, daring his partner to contradict him. Instead, Steve dropped his head. When he spoke, Danny could barely hear him. "I think I might."

Danny froze.

"I told her I loved her." Steve took a shaky breath. "In all the years we've known each other, neither of us ever said it. I always thought we had more time. But when she called from Afghanistan, after you brought me back, I said it. And I told her every time she called since then. And I told her today. And it didn't matter."

For once, Danny was at an absolute loss for words. Steve's relationship with Catherine was defined by its lack of definition. It didn't mean they were any less committed; anyone could see that Steve only had eyes for her, and that Catherine would do anything for her sailor. Danny knew Steve had nightmares about leaving Catherine in Afghanistan on her own, and he knew that if Catherine had said the slightest word, Steve would have been back on a plane in a heartbeat, damn the entire US military.

The past year had been hell on Catherine: deciding to leave the military, Billy, multiple new jobs. It would have made anyone question their purpose in life. But for all that, and despite all the ribbing he'd given Steve over her working with an ex, Danny had never doubted that Catherine had chosen that path primarily for the purpose of building a more permanent life with Steve.

The fact that Steve thought he had driven Catherine away made Danny want to get on the next plane to Afghanistan himself. He understood the drive Catherine had to help this family. But her home was here, right?

A thousand things went through Danny's head, but he said the only the only thing he thought mattered right then. "I'm so sorry, babe. But whatever her reasons are, you did not drive her away. You opening up to her did not make her want to leave. I have no doubt that saying those words mattered to her a great deal."

"Not enough."

"No, not enough." Danny paused. "Sometimes, it's not enough. But that's not on you, either. Sometimes, you do everything you can and it's just not enough. Doesn't mean you failed."

Steve looked sideways at his partner, eyebrows raised slightly.

Danny sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Steven. I know what I'm saying. There's a reason you should listen to me on this."

"I should have said it to her sooner."

Danny pursed his lips and nodded. "Maybe, yeah. But you don't know that it would have changed anything."

"I keep telling myself we've done this before. We've been apart and without contact for long periods of time more than once, when we were both deployed."

"So, maybe, one day..."

Steve was quiet for a long moment. "I don't know. This felt… different. Like she was really trying to say goodbye." He ran a hand over his head as if to try and push the thought away, then dropped it heavily. "There aren't too many things I count on, Danny. One is that if I wake up in a hospital bed, you are going to be right next to it, no matter where in the world I am. Two is the sound of Chin's shotgun. If I can hear that, I know the team is there and as long as the team is there, we're all going to be okay. And Catherine." He closed his eyes. "I'm not sure what I do now."

"Same thing we all do when we get kicked in the teeth by the one person we thought was our world. Wallow, then get up and move forward. For awhile, there's not a day that doesn't suck. You just get through it. But then, there's a day, and even a week, where things are okay. And eventually, you realize you're happy again. Not in the same way, maybe, but that's okay, too."

"Is it okay to hope she comes back?"

"There's hope, and there's irrational belief. Hope is a good thing. Just don't let it get in the way of moving forward."

Steve stared forward, thinking over what Danny was saying. Finally, he nodded once. "Okay."

"Okay? What does that okay mean?"

"It means you're right."

Danny cocked his head. "I'm always right, though it's nice to hear you say it."

Steve tried not to smile. Maybe his world wasn't as upside down as he'd thought it was. "I'm okay, Danno. Or I will be."

"Never doubted it."

Steve did smile at the tone of confidence in his friend's voice. Leave it to Danny to be sure enough for both of them. Then he realized how long they had been sitting there. "Hey, we were supposed to meet…"

"Don't worry about it." Danny interrupted. "I called him; it's not time critical. We'll do it tomorrow."

"Still, it's time I did something other than, what did you call it, wallow?"

"You're allowed to wallow for at least a whole day, buddy. In fact, I will even go get you ice cream, if that would help."

"Ice cream? It's Hawaii, Danno, we call it shave ice."

"No, Steven. This is more than little chips of frozen water covered in flavored syrup can handle. Heartbreak requires real honest-to-god ice cream."

Steve got quiet again. He was heartbroken, and admitting that meant admitting that she was really gone. Finally, he said, "Are you going to make me eat the ice cream out of the carton?"

"Do you want to?"

"...maybe."

Danny huffed a laugh and started to stand. Steve caught his arm. "Thanks, Danny. Seems like you've been saving me a lot lately."

Danny looked at him seriously. "I think we're about even for this year. Besides, that's what brothers do." He patted Steve's hand once and stood. "Back in fifteen."

Danny walked through the door, and Steve thought that yes, he was heartbroken. But the other things he counted on were still there, and and that meant he would be okay.


End file.
